The pressure of trying to write a song about, you know, the issues at hand.
With society imploding because of viral disease, unemployment and general uncertainty, it seems what the people needed in a time such as this (besides food, toilet paper, and a “stimulus check”) was songs that brought light and/or made light of the issue. Songs were made, if not without a little friction; Weird Al, the grand poo-bah of funny songs refused to fulfill someone’s request for “My Corona” (though that may be because he already did My Bologna back in 1983). On the other side of the spectrum, the children’s group The Wiggles released a song about the practice of social distancing, appropriately titled Social Distancing. All the while, my own family was egging me on to write a song, but I just couldn’t do it.
Who knew writing a song during the collapse of modern civilization was a difficult task?
I was lost. Hitting my head against the wall. How could I write a song about the epidemic without sounding redundant? What could I say that hasn’t already been said by The Wiggles?
Someone online (let’s call her Lisa) suggested I make a “topical, tropical song” and even provided some lyrics over instant message following this theme. I tried to work with her words, but I couldn’t spin them into a song. (Lisa if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry.)
Writer’s block continued to linger in my brain like it paid rent. That was, until news stories started circulating of disgruntled people gathering in large groups to protest against the government’s stay-at-home orders, carrying cardboard signs with slogans such as “COVID-19 IS A LIE” and “WE WANT HAIRCUTS!” written in crude permanent marker. First world problems at its finest. This, combined with similar stories about how people were immediately flocking in droves to reopened beaches, it all began to click:
“Why don’t I knock these people down a peg?”
Though I couldn’t just sing “HEY ***HOLES, STAY INSIDE AND BE SAFE”, as that would come off as a bit combative and perfidious, so I turned to a concept that I don’t think has been in a lot of songs: reverse psychology.
I took their whinging and “fatigue” with quarantine and made it so the lyrics actively encouraged their actions, (in a less-than-subtle sarcastic tone). Even the title, “Yes! Absolutely Go Outside” sounds like something a passive-aggressive teacher would say to an unruly student. Top that all off with a references to whipped Korean coffee and the conspiracy-driven destruction of cell-phone towers and I was all set. The perfect epidemic song. Well, maybe not the perfect epidemic song but it was the best I could come up with.